The Glimmer Falls Gazette - Winter 2022

Dear reader,

It’s time for what is probably the last installment of the Glimmer Falls Gazette (for now, anyway). It’s been a year (!) since I started this, and I think that’s a good point to take a hiatus before the book comes out in March (OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???)

November got away from me, so this is a generic winter paper. Multiple book characters have written to Ask Sphinxie for advice over the last year, and it felt right to have Mariel Spark, heroine of A WITCH’S GUIDE, write in once more looking for love.

Here are the links to go directly to all the papers:
January 2022
February 2022
March 2022
April 2022
May 2022
June 2022
July 2022
August 2022
September 2022
October 2022
Winter 2022

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 11, Winter 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: Is It Finally Over? Curtains Up! Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a small town dusted by snow with green hills and mountains in the background]

Is It Finally Over? by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Normally this paper releases monthly, but as everyone knows, November and December are a slow slide into madness punctuated by panicked bursts of activity. Between the turkeys and snow days and ornaments and latke potato-peeling and Uncle Bobs who really need to join this century, many of us are left depleted during what should be a season of joy. Thus: a winter omnibus edition of the Gazette! Forget November. Forget December. It is WINTER, and we are drawing boundaries to protect our time.

I could details some of the events of the season—the frankly alarming wereturkey burlesque show and subsequent Thanksgiving feast (apparently they feel no kinship with pure avians), the lighting of the holiday tree by a well-meaning but over-enthusiastic dragon, the perverse joy of watching centaurs try to ice skate—but instead I will use this column to encourage you to protect your own time. It’s okay to rest or say no sometimes. Joy can’t thrive when expectations are too heavy, and a holiday doesn’t have to be perfect on paper to be perfectly magical.

Second Page: [Image of performers on stage in elaborate dresses and costumes, flinging ribbons and confetti in the air]

Curtains Up! by Artemis Crumpet.

Glimmer Falls hosts more holiday plays than you can shake a wand at. I only attended three, since our current staff motto is "protect your time" (replacing "Do NOT look directly at that thing in the janitor's closet"). First, an annual ballet celebrating the goddess Hecate's gift of magic to her followers. Then, the werewolves' reenactment of wolf-deity Lycaeon's origin, which apparently involved a lot more frolicking in the woods and a lot less cannibalism than the Ancient Greeks led me to believe. Lastly, the yearly dinner theatre commemorating the founding of Glimmer Falls, hosted by Diantha Spark and mayor Cynthia Cunnington (whose names I have written in random order - please don't shut our paper down, Mayor C!). I loved them all, and it was a great reminder of how vibrant and diverse our beloved town is.

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,
I wrote previously asking how to get better at spellcraft to live up to the family legacy. Well, I'm not any better at magic, but I have another problem - I'm lonely. As everyone cuddles up during the cold weather, I'm worried I'll never find a partner. Where's the man of my dreams??
-Seeking A Dream Guy In Real Life

Dear SADGIRL,
When life fails to give you lemons, you must stage an assault on the grocery store to acquire your own. The metaphorical lemonade here is love, which also requires time, the right ingredients, and a firm squeeze. Go to community events. Pick up a new hobby. Join a singles group. You cannot win what you do not actively seek.
After all, love cannot simply be summoned with a spell…

Sphinxie is sure love can’t be summoned by a spell, but I have a sneaking suspicion she might be wrong about that…