The Glimmer Falls Gazette - August 2022
Dear reader,
Welcome to August’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication from the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in!
In this edition:
-Questionable choices involving dead squirrels!
-Don’t sniff markers!
-Do hug trees!
Read on for the good gossip…
Text for screen readers:
The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 8, August 2022.
In This Issue side headlines: It’s Alive! Back to School. Tree Lovers. Ask Sphinxie.
First page: [Image of a bearded teacher at a desk in a classroom. They’re showing a skull to young children]
It’s Alive! by Ransom Thibodeaux.
Good news! We've escaped the time vortex that delayed July's paper. It may be August 30th, but by Hecate, it's still August. August 30th is Frankenstein Day and the local Mad Scientist Club will be hosting a live reading from the classic novel, followed by an attempt to revive a deceased rabid squirrel. Come to celebrate the birth of science fiction, stay for the birth of an abomination that surely no one will regret creating.
Back to School. by Zawadi Cheboi.
Take a deep breath. Smell that? Fresh pencil shavings, glue, markers... It's August, and school is starting! Young folks of many species will be skipping, galloping, slithering, or flapping their way to the classroom for an education in various R's: reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic, rapscallionism, Renaissance art, rhetoric, robotics, and runology (Ed. note: Don't actually sniff glue or markers. It was a metaphor. Or something that means we can't be sued.)
Second Page: [Image of a person’s silhouette at the end of a round tunnel of greenery]
Tree Lovers. by Artemis Crumpet.
The Glimmer Falls Environmental Protection Club is a small, passionate group dedicated to preserving the local ecosystem. A rare confluence of ley lines infuses the soil with magic, and our forest contains plants and animals found almost nowhere else in the world. "It's all connected," witch member Mariel Spark says. "From the fire salamanders to the pine trees to the people. We must protect this legacy for future generations by keeping the woods pristine and untouched."
Mayor Cynthia Cunnington and her dreams of a luxury spa built around the hot springs may disagree, though...
Ask Sphinxie.
Dear Sphinxie,
My daughter is terrible at magic, even though the stars promised she'd be the most powerful witch in our family in generations. How can I force her to get better? Threats, begging, and surprise ambushes aren't working, and though she insists she likes nature magic and is amazing at it, I think it's dull and she can do much better. I myself am extraordinarily talented, and it's embarrassing to see her fail.
-Magnificently Overpowered Magician
Dear MOM,
A failure is defined in relation to a goal. Who sets those goals, and who should set them? Put another way: would you rather listen to your daughter, the stars… or your own ego?