The Glimmer Falls Gazette - March 2022
It’s March, and The Glimmer Falls Gazette is full of exciting updates! Equinox festivities, hot wing eating competitions, a magical library, tentacle jousting… Glimmer Falls has it all! Read on to find out what’s happening in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set in.
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Text for screen readers:
Side headlines: Day and Night. Glimmer Gossip. Hit the Stacks! Ask Sphinxie.
First page: [Image of an outside market where a man plays guitar and a woman plays flute.]
Day and Night. by Ransom Thibodeaux.
The Spring Equinox is coming! On March 20, stop by the town square for a 24-hour party hosted by the Human-Centaur Polo League (twice the torsos, twice the fun!) There will be live music, an inter-species limbo contest, and a magical melee. Witches and warlocks, dust off your best spells! After dark, the fun continues with a bonfire, tentacle jousting, and a blood orgy (invite-only).
Glimmer Gossip. by Zawadi Cheboi.
WINGS OF GLORY. Themmie Tibayan, Pixtagram influencer, won the hot wings eating contest at Le Chapeau Magique!
WITCHY FISTICUFFS? Mayor Cynthia Cunnington is rumored to be displeased with her adult daughter, Calladia, who started a bar brawl with a pack of werewolves. Calladia won, but apparently that's "not the point."
Second Page: [Image of an ornate library with green carpets and a vaulted ceiling covered in murals.]
Hit the Stacks! by Artemis Crumpet.
Thirsting for knowledge? The Glimmer Falls Library is a world-class resource for magical scholarship (in addition to having a *banging* romance section). Enchanted ladders zoom up and down the tower containing magical texts, and the collection extends deep underground as well. Some levels are forbidden to anyone without credentials to access black magic, and it's rumored a few levels only appear once a century to a chosen witch or warlock... Who knows, maybe it'll be you! You won't know until you sign up for a library card and get reading.
Pull quote: “Honk honk I love the library!” - Lorey Everfor, Goose Shifter. An asterisk after ‘library’ leads to a note that says “This is a fandom in-joke, the honks are goose honks not asshole trucker honks.”
Ask Sphinxie.
Dear Sphinxie,
My friends have been acting weird lately, accusing me of turning into the friend group's "dictator" just because I always decide what we're going to do. Am I right to worry about backstabbers?
-Can Anyone Explain Such Aggressive Responses?
Dear CAESAR,
Are you posting this from 44 BCE? If yes, perhaps some wariness would be warranted. If not, the situation can still be salvaged. Put down your scepter and open your heart and ears, lest your friends stage a (hopefully metaphorical) coup.