The Glimmer Falls Gazette - April 2022
It’s time for April’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication detailing the goings-on in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set in. In this edition:
-Magic!
-Nudity!
-Sporty surprises!
-All-night diners!
Read on for the good gossip…
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Text for screen readers:
Side headlines: April Showers… Soccer Shocker! The Centaur Cafe. Ask Sphinxie.
First page: [Image of a male soccer goalie leaping to block a ball]
April Showers... by Ransom Thibodeaux.
Bring magic powers! The Glimmer Falls Spring Fling is a week-long extravaganza featuring the talents of local witches and warlocks. Stop by a potions workshop at Le Chapeau Magique or practice your runes with expert conjurers at the library! The event culminates in a magical melee, clothing and sobriety optional. Come see what can never be unseen!
Soccer Shocker! by Zawadi Cheboi.
The Glimmer Falls Gremlins adult soccer team played a pick-up game in the town square against their rivals, the Woodland Warriors. When a ball went astray, all seemed lost... until a nude naiad burst out of a nearby fountain and headbutted the ball back into play. "I was on my afternoon hydration break," explained Rani Bhaduri. "When the ball came my way, I reacted instinctively." What a play! The Gremlins went on to win 3-1.
Second Page: [Image of a woman with sunglasses and a polka-dotted headband standing at the counter of a classic diner]
The Centaur Cafe. by Artemis Crumpet.
Glimmer Falls offers a wide variety of dining options, from humble dives to 5-star restaurants. On the dive end of the spectrum is The Centaur Cafe, a 24/7 diner with cracked vinyl booths and indecently thick milkshakes. It's fully wheelchair-, wing-, and hoof-accessible, with comfortable seating-and-standing room for all. After a night out, there's nothing better than a plate of crispy fries and a gossip with friends! Go late enough at night, and you may encounter the mysterious town residents who only emerge after the sun sets...
Ask Sphinxie.
Dear Sphinxie,
My girlfriend has been bugging me to propose for ten years. Considering this, I came up with the perfect April Fools’ prank, but she did not respond well! When I went down on one knee, said I had an important question, and then asked her to teach me how to tie my shoes, she dumped me. She’d being unreasonable, right?
-Innocent And Mad At Dramatic Breakup And Girlfriend
Dear IAMADBAG,
Sphinxie’s words of wisdom are usually couched in gentle riddles, but as your (very smart) now-ex-girlfriend knows, sometimes more drastic measures are needed. You’re an ass.