The Glimmer Falls Gazette - Winter 2022

Dear reader,

It’s time for what is probably the last installment of the Glimmer Falls Gazette (for now, anyway). It’s been a year (!) since I started this, and I think that’s a good point to take a hiatus before the book comes out in March (OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???)

November got away from me, so this is a generic winter paper. Multiple book characters have written to Ask Sphinxie for advice over the last year, and it felt right to have Mariel Spark, heroine of A WITCH’S GUIDE, write in once more looking for love.

Here are the links to go directly to all the papers:
January 2022
February 2022
March 2022
April 2022
May 2022
June 2022
July 2022
August 2022
September 2022
October 2022
Winter 2022

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 11, Winter 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: Is It Finally Over? Curtains Up! Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a small town dusted by snow with green hills and mountains in the background]

Is It Finally Over? by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Normally this paper releases monthly, but as everyone knows, November and December are a slow slide into madness punctuated by panicked bursts of activity. Between the turkeys and snow days and ornaments and latke potato-peeling and Uncle Bobs who really need to join this century, many of us are left depleted during what should be a season of joy. Thus: a winter omnibus edition of the Gazette! Forget November. Forget December. It is WINTER, and we are drawing boundaries to protect our time.

I could details some of the events of the season—the frankly alarming wereturkey burlesque show and subsequent Thanksgiving feast (apparently they feel no kinship with pure avians), the lighting of the holiday tree by a well-meaning but over-enthusiastic dragon, the perverse joy of watching centaurs try to ice skate—but instead I will use this column to encourage you to protect your own time. It’s okay to rest or say no sometimes. Joy can’t thrive when expectations are too heavy, and a holiday doesn’t have to be perfect on paper to be perfectly magical.

Second Page: [Image of performers on stage in elaborate dresses and costumes, flinging ribbons and confetti in the air]

Curtains Up! by Artemis Crumpet.

Glimmer Falls hosts more holiday plays than you can shake a wand at. I only attended three, since our current staff motto is "protect your time" (replacing "Do NOT look directly at that thing in the janitor's closet"). First, an annual ballet celebrating the goddess Hecate's gift of magic to her followers. Then, the werewolves' reenactment of wolf-deity Lycaeon's origin, which apparently involved a lot more frolicking in the woods and a lot less cannibalism than the Ancient Greeks led me to believe. Lastly, the yearly dinner theatre commemorating the founding of Glimmer Falls, hosted by Diantha Spark and mayor Cynthia Cunnington (whose names I have written in random order - please don't shut our paper down, Mayor C!). I loved them all, and it was a great reminder of how vibrant and diverse our beloved town is.

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,
I wrote previously asking how to get better at spellcraft to live up to the family legacy. Well, I'm not any better at magic, but I have another problem - I'm lonely. As everyone cuddles up during the cold weather, I'm worried I'll never find a partner. Where's the man of my dreams??
-Seeking A Dream Guy In Real Life

Dear SADGIRL,
When life fails to give you lemons, you must stage an assault on the grocery store to acquire your own. The metaphorical lemonade here is love, which also requires time, the right ingredients, and a firm squeeze. Go to community events. Pick up a new hobby. Join a singles group. You cannot win what you do not actively seek.
After all, love cannot simply be summoned with a spell…

Sphinxie is sure love can’t be summoned by a spell, but I have a sneaking suspicion she might be wrong about that…

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - October 2022

Dear reader,

Happy spooky season! It’s time for the monthly update from The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a publication detailing events going on in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in!

In this edition:

-The Glimmer Falls Autumn Festival! (A key plot point in book 1)
-Mysterious prophecies from the corn (perhaps hinting at future books??)
-Gibbering horrors deserve love, too!

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 10, October 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: The Best Fest! The Mysterious Corn Maze. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of someone carving a pumpkin at a table with candles and a basket of gourds]

The Best Fest! by Ransom Thibodeaux.

It's October at last, which means the Glimmer Falls Autumn Festival! Thousands of tourists have joined us to celebrate this year. There's a magic display on every street corner, and pumpkin spice abounds. Here are a few highlights to look forward to:

Baking competitions: Get ready for levitating pies, magical aphrodisiacs, and more!

Performance artists: There's a troupe of jugglers flinging knives and bowling balls outside my window at this very moment. Wait... was that a levitating cat??

The Magical Melee: Ever seen a bunch of nude, hallucinating witches try to turn each other into newts? Grab some magic mushrooms, dust off your old grudges, and let's get freaky!

The Pacific Northwest Floral Championships: These flower displays have to be seen to be believed. Local witch Mariel Spark is gunning for Best in Show this year, and rumor has it one of her flowers actually emits flames!

Happy Spooky Season, folks!

Second Page: [Image of a twisting corn maze taken from the air]

The Mysterious Corn Maze. by Artemis Crumpet.

Overnight, a corn maze appeared outside the museum. No one knows where it came from, but the ominous wailing from within and periodic puffs of colorful smoke are intriguing. Anyone who enters comes out looking dazed, and strange prophecies spill from their tongues. So far I've been given a trilogy of strange predictions:
"Book 1: A behorned visitor from afar."
"Book 2: A cacophony of explosions."
"Book 3: Blood-soaked performance art from an immortal assassin."
Feeling brave? Have a wander through the stalks...

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,
As an unspeakable eldritch creature, October is my favorite month. I can walk the streets in all my shrieking, unfathomable glory, and people assume it’s a costume. Recently I met the perfect man, and we had an amazing conversation. He asked me to dinner in November, but I’m worried he won’t like me once he realizes all my… appendages… are permanent. What should I do??
-Any Advice At Acting Appealing?

Dear AAAAA,
Some costumes are more obvious than others, but we all wear a mask to protect the fragile, lonely creature within. Love comes not from showing our surface, but baring that vulnerable inner self.
Give it a chance. Gibbering horrors deserve love, too, and no person is perfect - but this one may just be perfect for you.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - September 2022

Dear reader,

It’s time for September’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication from the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in!

In this edition:

-September: Why?
-Reading is great!
-Mermaids!

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 9, September 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: September: Why? Get Reading! Local Spotlight: Brittany’s. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a young woman reading on a couch with a bookshelf behind her]

September: Why? by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Today's column explores a serious question: Does September have any rights? It's positioned awkwardly between summer and fall - too warm for coats, too cold for shorts. It contains a silly number of days. It's also the last barrier between us and Spooky Season, which Glimmer Falls celebrates with gusto. Frankly, I have nothing good to say about the horrible month. Please knock on my coffin lid when it's October.

Get Reading! by Zawadi Cheboi.

September is Library Card Sign-Up Month! The Glimmer Falls Library is a world-class resource for magic tomes and has extensive fiction and non-fiction offerings. Visit the Glass Pavilion for the latest in YA or curl up on a couch with a steamy Berkley romance. Our librarians are friendly and light on the shushing, and they commune regularly with the things in the walls to ensure the library remains safe for all. Just don't ask too many questions about the eerie moaning on the fourth floor...

Second Page: [Image of a fountain featuring water cascading over rocks with a mermaid sculpture seated in the center]

Local Spotlight: Brittany’s. by Artemis Crumpet.

Hankering for some fresh seafood and a nautical ambience? Head downtown to Brittany's, an adorable restaurant dedicated to all things aquatic. Mermaid murals adorn the walls, and sea glass sparkles from every corner. Chef Brittany H. brings creativity and ethics to the table: fish are fresh-caught from sustainable sources and there are wild-foraged vegetarian options. There's even a dining tub in back for naiads, merfolk, and those of the tentacled persuasion who like to stay hydrated while eating. So swim on over - it's fin-tastic!

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

I’m the only introvert in a very loud (wonderful) werewolf pack. My parents are hoping I’ll settle down with someone and add to the family, but I have a lot of social anxiety. Everyone thinks I’m the serious, stable one, so I’m embarrassed to tell them that the thought of singles mixers or blind dates makes me queasy. How can I get over my anxiety to be worthy of a partner?

-Bad Anxiety, Seeks Help For Unearthing Love

Dear BASHFUL,

There is beauty in being one-of-a-kind, and what we see as flaws are what set us apart. Do you make demands of the moon, or do you love its craters as much as its plains? Find worth in your own rough topography, and a lover will howl for you someday.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - August 2022

Dear reader,

Welcome to August’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication from the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in!

In this edition:

-Questionable choices involving dead squirrels!
-Don’t sniff markers!
-Do hug trees!

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 8, August 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: It’s Alive! Back to School. Tree Lovers. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a bearded teacher at a desk in a classroom. They’re showing a skull to young children]

It’s Alive! by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Good news! We've escaped the time vortex that delayed July's paper. It may be August 30th, but by Hecate, it's still August. August 30th is Frankenstein Day and the local Mad Scientist Club will be hosting a live reading from the classic novel, followed by an attempt to revive a deceased rabid squirrel. Come to celebrate the birth of science fiction, stay for the birth of an abomination that surely no one will regret creating.

Back to School. by Zawadi Cheboi.

Take a deep breath. Smell that? Fresh pencil shavings, glue, markers... It's August, and school is starting! Young folks of many species will be skipping, galloping, slithering, or flapping their way to the classroom for an education in various R's: reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic, rapscallionism, Renaissance art, rhetoric, robotics, and runology (Ed. note: Don't actually sniff glue or markers. It was a metaphor. Or something that means we can't be sued.)

Second Page: [Image of a person’s silhouette at the end of a round tunnel of greenery]

Tree Lovers. by Artemis Crumpet.

The Glimmer Falls Environmental Protection Club is a small, passionate group dedicated to preserving the local ecosystem. A rare confluence of ley lines infuses the soil with magic, and our forest contains plants and animals found almost nowhere else in the world. "It's all connected," witch member Mariel Spark says. "From the fire salamanders to the pine trees to the people. We must protect this legacy for future generations by keeping the woods pristine and untouched."

Mayor Cynthia Cunnington and her dreams of a luxury spa built around the hot springs may disagree, though...

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

My daughter is terrible at magic, even though the stars promised she'd be the most powerful witch in our family in generations. How can I force her to get better? Threats, begging, and surprise ambushes aren't working, and though she insists she likes nature magic and is amazing at it, I think it's dull and she can do much better. I myself am extraordinarily talented, and it's embarrassing to see her fail.

-Magnificently Overpowered Magician

Dear MOM,

A failure is defined in relation to a goal. Who sets those goals, and who should set them? Put another way: would you rather listen to your daughter, the stars… or your own ego?

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - July 2022

Dear reader,

It’s time for July’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication from the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in! Yes, in August. There is a VERY GOOD EXPLANATION for the delay that you will see below.

In this edition:

-A time vortex!
-Heat waves!
-Bloody good drinks (literally)!
-The author infiltrates her own universe!

Read on for the good gossip…

Text for screen readers:

The Glimmer Falls Gazette. Issue 7, July 2022.

In This Issue side headlines: Time Vortex? Heat Wave. NecroNomNomNoms. Ask Sphinxie.

First page:  [Image of a young boy running through sprinklers on a hot day]

Time Vortex? by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Imagine this staff writer's shock when he woke up one day and discovered it was August, and no July edition of the paper had been sent! After consulting with the staff oracle, we've concluded the Glimmer Falls Gazette was the victim of a roving Time Vortex. While days passed normally outside, within our offices we were trapped in an eternal summer, unmarked by days, weeks, or publishing deadlines..

Heat Wave. by Zawadi Cheboi.

Whewww this July is (was??) a scorcher! The Pacific Northwest was hit by a heat wave that sent temperatures as high as the 100s. Great news for the fire sprites, who normally resort to arson after the long winter months (yes, everyone knows it was you, FRANK). Bad news for everyone else. While the fire sprites danced on the simmering blacktop, the frost fairies thankfully opened their bespelled ice manor to the public. A mysterious benefactor provided popsicles, too!

Second Page: [Image of bright red liquid being poured from a glass skull decanter into a wine glass]

NecroNomNomNoms by Artemis Crumpet.

After the flagship restaurant catering to creatures of the night met with resounding success in neighboring Griffin's Nest, a second location is opening in Glimmer Falls! NecroNomNomNoms provides bloody good food and drink (emphasis on the bloody) and is open 24/7 to accommodate fanged creatures both diurnal and nocturnal. There are also a few non-blood-based offerings. Some of the staff are human, but please be aware they are NOT on the menu. Blood is on tap from donors of various vintages, so no need to stick your fangs in anyone (unless they consent).

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

I’m a romance novelist, and I’ve been working on a few initiatives on social media and email to promote my upcoming fantasy rom-com, A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON. One such thing is a monthly newsletter. Imagine my horror when August rolled around and I hadn’t sent my July newsletter yet. Is it unforgivable to send it late??

-Sorry Author Regrets August Hype

Dear SARAH,

Your book sounds lovely, and I hope everyone buys it. I'm sure you are very beautiful and talented, timeliness issues aside, and August Hype is acceptable in this oracle's eyes, but may I recommend a rare, mystical tool known as a "calendar" to assist you in future promotional endeavors?

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - June 2022

Dear reader,

It’s time for June’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette! This monthly publication details the goings-on in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE DATING A DEMON is set in. In this edition:

-Flowers!
-Furniture!
-Fists!

Read on for the good gossip…

To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: Solstice Shenanigans. June Bloom. LYKEA Madness! Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of three young women in colorful clothes dancing at a crowded outdoor festival]

Solstice Shenanigans. by Ransom Thibodeaux.

June 21st is the summer solstice! Wow, time flies when you're a writer for a small town newspaper struggling to come up with monthly content! The town square hosts singing, dancing, and sacrifices to various sun deities, and the Hellenic Society is sponsoring a wax-wing-crafting competition for anyone who craves a taste of the sky. Just make sure you don't fly too high...

June Bloom. by Zawadi Cheboi.

It's summer, and the Pacific Northwest is awash in color! Head into the woods to bask in the greenery or take a stroll around town to see a huge variety of flowers. A few blooming right now: Japanese snowbell trees, honeysuckles, Pacific Mock Orange, Apothecary's Rose, witch's tit, ditch lilies, and the aptly (if unfortunately) named Centaur Cock Crocus. Careful plucking one of those - you'll need both hands, and the pollen is very sticky!

Second Page: [Image of a man and woman perusing chairs at a furniture store]

LYKEA Madness! by Artemis Crumpet.

Fans of ready-to-assemble furniture and generic home goods, do I have news for you! The werewolf-run furniture and home accessory store LYKEA has opened a branch 30 minutes outside Glimmer Falls. Come for the ambiguously named shelving units, stay for the ambiguously constituted meatballs.

Not everyone is happy, though. Werewolf woodworker Ranulf Howland of neighboring Fable Farms says, "It's an affront to creativity and authenticity. The big box bourgeoisie won't get away with this!"

But the meatballs are so good...

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

I (Witch, 27F) got in a bar brawl with a pack of Corgi shifters the other day. We had a great time fighting, but my mother says I'm tarnishing our family legacy because I can't keep my fists to myself. I don't want to stop fighting. Any advice?

-Fighting In Shifter Tussles Is No Good?

Dear FISTING,

Shifters are known for friendly fights, so the actual brawling isn't a concern. Similarly, if a legacy can be tarnished with a single punch, what is it worth? But I suspect your words hide another question.

Every punch begins with an impulse, flickering from mind to fingers along the electric pathways of the body. What impulse drives your fists? If you cannot confess that, your real issue appears.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - May 2022

Dear reader,

Welcome to May’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette! This monthly publication details the goings-on in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set in. In this edition:

-Support nurse unions! (wait, not like THAT)
-Monster maypole!
-Octopus shifter popstars!

Read on for the good gossip…

To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: Nurse Appreciation! All Around the Maypole. It’s Gonna Be May. Ask Sphinxie.

First page:  [Image of a maypole with colorful ribbons]

Nurse Appreciation. by Ransom Thibodeaux.

May brings National Nurses Week! Know a nurse? Let them know how valued they are! Support their union efforts! Bring them food and offerings! (Though after last year's offering from local occultists, well-meaning as it was, The Glimmer Falls Nurses Association reminds you that nurses will be morally obligated to intervene in any virgin sacrifices.)

All Around the Maypole. by Zawadi Cheboi.

Stop by the town square for the infamous Maypole! It used to only be the famous Maypole, but ever since dance hours were extended for an adults-only "After Dark" event hosted by the Eldritch Abomination Elegance pole studio, it's been a topic of much discussion.

At 10am you’ll find families wholesomely twirling among the ribbons. By midnight, you'll have learned more about monster anatomy than you ever dreamed.

Second Page: [Image of a blue octopus with a microphone Photoshopped in front of it]

It’s Gonna Be May. by Artemis Crumpet.

May ought to be the favorite month of pop group N'Ink, a group of octopus shifters whose watery warbles have made them international superstars (and by that I mean no one outside of Glimmer Falls has heard of them except for, inexplicably, a group of superfans in Gibraltar).

Lead singer Dustin Limberlake groans when I ask him about his favorite month. “How many times must people make the same ‘it’s gonna be May’ joke?” he asks. “We have an extensive discography full of other lyrics, folks!”

Wow! These octopodes might prefer freshwater, but they can sure get salty!

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

Spring has sprung, and everyone's obsessed with the birds and the bees (metaphorical). All my friends are twitterpated, but I've been single for a long time, and it's hard when there's so much love in the air. How can this grumpy singleton learn to enjoy the romantic season? Am I doomed to be alone?
-Where Are Any Available Hotties?

Dear WAAAH,

Even single people have a constant companion, one that can be glimpsed in lakes and mirrors. We often neglect to treat this person with the love and care they deserve. This spring, romance that hottie. Light candles. Buy flowers. Face the mirror and tell them they're beautiful.
One can be alone without being lonely.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - April 2022

It’s time for April’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette, a monthly publication detailing the goings-on in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set in. In this edition:

-Magic!
-Nudity!
-Sporty surprises!
-All-night diners!

Read on for the good gossip…

To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: April Showers… Soccer Shocker! The Centaur Cafe. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a male soccer goalie leaping to block a ball]

April Showers... by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Bring magic powers! The Glimmer Falls Spring Fling is a week-long extravaganza featuring the talents of local witches and warlocks. Stop by a potions workshop at Le Chapeau Magique or practice your runes with expert conjurers at the library! The event culminates in a magical melee, clothing and sobriety optional. Come see what can never be unseen!

Soccer Shocker! by Zawadi Cheboi.

The Glimmer Falls Gremlins adult soccer team played a pick-up game in the town square against their rivals, the Woodland Warriors. When a ball went astray, all seemed lost... until a nude naiad burst out of a nearby fountain and headbutted the ball back into play. "I was on my afternoon hydration break," explained Rani Bhaduri. "When the ball came my way, I reacted instinctively." What a play! The Gremlins went on to win 3-1.

Second Page: [Image of a woman with sunglasses and a polka-dotted headband standing at the counter of a classic diner]

The Centaur Cafe. by Artemis Crumpet.

Glimmer Falls offers a wide variety of dining options, from humble dives to 5-star restaurants. On the dive end of the spectrum is The Centaur Cafe, a 24/7 diner with cracked vinyl booths and indecently thick milkshakes. It's fully wheelchair-, wing-, and hoof-accessible, with comfortable seating-and-standing room for all. After a night out, there's nothing better than a plate of crispy fries and a gossip with friends! Go late enough at night, and you may encounter the mysterious town residents who only emerge after the sun sets...

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

My girlfriend has been bugging me to propose for ten years. Considering this, I came up with the perfect April Fools’ prank, but she did not respond well! When I went down on one knee, said I had an important question, and then asked her to teach me how to tie my shoes, she dumped me. She’d being unreasonable, right?

-Innocent And Mad At Dramatic Breakup And Girlfriend

Dear IAMADBAG,

Sphinxie’s words of wisdom are usually couched in gentle riddles, but as your (very smart) now-ex-girlfriend knows, sometimes more drastic measures are needed. You’re an ass.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - March 2022

It’s March, and The Glimmer Falls Gazette is full of exciting updates! Equinox festivities, hot wing eating competitions, a magical library, tentacle jousting… Glimmer Falls has it all! Read on to find out what’s happening in the small town A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set in.

To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: Day and Night. Glimmer Gossip. Hit the Stacks! Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of an outside market where a man plays guitar and a woman plays flute.]

Day and Night. by Ransom Thibodeaux.

The Spring Equinox is coming! On March 20, stop by the town square for a 24-hour party hosted by the Human-Centaur Polo League (twice the torsos, twice the fun!) There will be live music, an inter-species limbo contest, and a magical melee. Witches and warlocks, dust off your best spells! After dark, the fun continues with a bonfire, tentacle jousting, and a blood orgy (invite-only).

Glimmer Gossip. by Zawadi Cheboi.

WINGS OF GLORY. Themmie Tibayan, Pixtagram influencer, won the hot wings eating contest at Le Chapeau Magique!

WITCHY FISTICUFFS? Mayor Cynthia Cunnington is rumored to be displeased with her adult daughter, Calladia, who started a bar brawl with a pack of werewolves. Calladia won, but apparently that's "not the point."

Second Page: [Image of an ornate library with green carpets and a vaulted ceiling covered in murals.]

Hit the Stacks! by Artemis Crumpet.

Thirsting for knowledge? The Glimmer Falls Library is a world-class resource for magical scholarship (in addition to having a *banging* romance section). Enchanted ladders zoom up and down the tower containing magical texts, and the collection extends deep underground as well. Some levels are forbidden to anyone without credentials to access black magic, and it's rumored a few levels only appear once a century to a chosen witch or warlock... Who knows, maybe it'll be you! You won't know until you sign up for a library card and get reading.

Pull quote: “Honk honk I love the library!” - Lorey Everfor, Goose Shifter. An asterisk after ‘library’ leads to a note that says “This is a fandom in-joke, the honks are goose honks not asshole trucker honks.”

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

My friends have been acting weird lately, accusing me of turning into the friend group's "dictator" just because I always decide what we're going to do. Am I right to worry about backstabbers?

-Can Anyone Explain Such Aggressive Responses?

Dear CAESAR,

Are you posting this from 44 BCE? If yes, perhaps some wariness would be warranted. If not, the situation can still be salvaged. Put down your scepter and open your heart and ears, lest your friends stage a (hopefully metaphorical) coup.

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - February 2022

Welcome to February’s installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette! The town is buzzing with news of a love potion gone awry, and a keen-eyed gossip has spied Mariel Spark, the heroine of A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON, attempting a spell…

To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: Love is in the Air. Glimmer Gossip. Local Spotlight. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a smiling woman in a coat walking over a frozen river. Pink smoke billows near her feet.]

Love is in the Air. by Ransom Thibodeaux.

Literally. A special Valentine's Day potion-brewing class at Glimmer Falls College went awry, and now the community is feeling the effects.

When a love potion overheated and aerosolized, it escaped the classroom. So if you see a glittery pink cloud around town, cover your nose!

Or breathe in and join the orgy at the library...

Glimmer Gossip. by Zuri Cheboi.

FRENEMESES? Mayor Cynthia Cunnington and her "best friend," Diantha Spark, were spotted outside Le Chapeau Magique, engaging in an arm-wrestling battle by proxy.

MAGICAL MISFIRE? The explosion outside Zev's Plant Emporium didn't cause any damage... unless you count Muriel Spark's cell phone. What spell was she trying to cast??

Second Page: [Image of a laughing woman in a brick room holding a candle next to a vase of flowers.]

Local Spotlight: Le Chapeau Magique. by Artemis Crumpet.

Everyone's favorite dive bar just reopened after a month of renovations. Don't worry - the Christmas lights remain up year-round, and the clientele is as varied and raucous as ever. Come for the amazingly cheap cocktails, stay for the board games, free popcorn, and telekinetic beer pong. The bar also stocked up on elven anti-hangover tonics, so the party never has to end!

(If you see a very ancient warlock named Alzapraz around town, tell him he has a 120-year-old bar tab to settle.)

Pull quote: “Le Chapeau Magique is my favorite spot for a margarita and a place to rest my wings.” - Themmie Tibayan, Pixtagram influencer.

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

I feel like a failure. Every time I try to cast a spell, something blows up or I summon extremely inappropriate objects. My mom says I'm a stain on our (very impressive) magical family legacy. How can I get better at spellcraft and make my family proud?

-Having A Legacy Problem

Dear HALP,

A legacy is written by those who wish to shape the future in the image of the past. What direction are you looking in?

The Glimmer Falls Gazette - January 2022

Welcome to the first installment of The Glimmer Falls Gazette! Over the coming months, you’ll get a peek at the magical small town of Glimmer Falls where A WITCH’S GUIDE TO FAKE-DATING A DEMON is set.

Let’s see what happened in Glimmer Falls this January. To see each month’s edition as it comes out, rather than a month after the fact, please subscribe to my newsletter!

Text for screen readers:

Side headlines: Frost Fairy Festivities. Winter Wonderwoods. Ask Sphinxie.

First page: [Image of a cozy town square with a Ferris wheel near sunset.]

Frost Fairy Festivities. by Ransom Thibodeaux.

There’s always a holiday to celebrate in Glimmer Falls1 The frost fairies are pleased to offer their annual winter market in the town square from January fifth through thirteenth. Come for steaming apple cider and traditional spun-sugar delicacies, then stay for the ice-sculpting competition and a performance by the Centaur Irish Dance Squad. There’s even a magic-powered Ferris wheel!

For hot-blooded creatures, never fear - Mayor Cynthia Cunnington has commissioned a winged sauna that will hover over the proceedings, allowing everyone to enjoy the spectacle.

Admission is free, though the frost fairies appreciate donations to maintain their ice manor year-round.

Second Page: [Image of a young man with an orange beanie soaking in an outdoor hot spring with snow in the background.]

Winter Wonderwoods. by Artemis Crumpet.

Even in the cold of winter, the forest is brimming with life. Take a walk on one of countless trails, and you can see snow rabbits and frost flowers. Settle in for a soak at one of Glimmer Falls’s famous hot springs, though don’t be surprised if an albino hot springs snake decides to cuddle up with you. They’re very friendly!

Please be cautious around the fire salamanders. Not only are they extremely endangered, but they’re also extremely cranky, and no one likes an accidental burn. Well, some of you do, but that’s a story for another time.

Speaking of burning, don’t hold out hope for seeing a phoenix. By this time of year, they’ll all have self-immolated for the winter. Check back in spring!

Ask Sphinxie.

Dear Sphinxie,

My parents think a pixie can only love another airborne creature, but I’ve fallen for a tragically earthbound wood nymph. How can we convince them to give our love a chance?

-Hopeless Earth-Air Romantic Twosome

Dear HEART,

To love is to grow wings and roots. Such growth cannot happen in darkness. Bring it into the light, and let it thrive.